Feelings n Thoughts

Ever thought when you going to die? Sometimes the thought just comes, I get scared because you don't when you going to die. I had a dream that I got get by a car or a train, or someone shot me. You don't know when, where, or why is going to die. I keep my feelings to my self because no one is going to understand my thoughts, maybe they going to think I'm crazy. Have you ever dream you going to die and then wake up crying? I think that's a sign telling you something important. I never would had written this in my blog. I always felt out of place, thinking that I'm dumb and I"m going to have a bad future. I think that my dad doesn't love me, we always fighting, bossing me around , I can never get along with him. Every time he acts different when I near was because my parents are lieing about something. I feel like no one can stop me, no one's listening to me. Sometimes I want to talk to someone about my feelings,thoughts, how I feel at home, why I'm always sad or thinking of killing my self. It's hard living a lie at skewl then at casa. But I just want to sleep for a very long time never seeing people hurting or teasing me. I got more secrets but never can tell, it's killing me inside holding my feelings but oneday maybe I can tell. If you read this don't tell me, just don't tell. This is just a short joural about a boy who went though this and killed him self in the east river.